Oh, my. I needed a good night out. And luckily I was able to convince my good friend Mike that he needed a night out, too, after a day hard-spent watching season one of "Weeds." Since this was the weekend of the annual Atlantis Music Conference, I thought we could just pick a venue and hang out for five or six hours listening to some (hopefully) good music.

Smith's Olde Bar. Always a good choice, especially last night. First, let me throw a shout out to Chicago band Liquor Boxx for being the last band on and with the smallest audience and somehow still managing to rock the holy fucking hell out of the joint. Easily the best band of the night. Too bad they went on last - a lot of milquetoasts were tired by then, freakin' 2 am, grow a pair, already! - because they missed some funky, bluesy rock-n-fuckin-roll. The real stuff. What your parents always warned you about. Liquor Boxx, my friends, is the shit that gets you chased by the cops just before dawn and no one is really even sure why. You just know you've never had a better time in your entire life.

Might I also add that during the show the singer scouted the audience for a lady to help the guitar player take the reigns for a few. I offered my hand. He jumped off the stage and like a gentleman he took my hand and led me up the steps to face the crowd. The guitarist lifted his arms and I stood in front of him as he lowered his arms and his guitar in front of me. As the singer told me, "Just stand there, baby, and hold on." Hold on I did as the guitarist went on to have a mini-shred fest that totally did not require such close proximity, but it was fun anyway. The whole time I could think of nothing but, "You're wearing stillettos. Steady yourself. This is not the time to fall. DO NOT FALL IN FRONT OF THESE PEOPLE." Ha. I didn't. Thank God I wasn't drinking, right?

Please check out Liquor Boxx. Keep track of their tour schedule. See them whenever you can. And go to their MySpace site and throw them some love!

OK. Second best band of the night. Went on right before Liquor Boxx. (What is it with all the good bands going on so late? All the whiny bitches get tired and go home and the bands get less exposure.) Blue Flashing Light, hailing from Athens, GA. Not bad, really. I could get into their sound, even though their singer, a fellow by the name of Ian Schwarber, occasionally reaches vocal melodramatics rivaling those of Ludo's Andrew Volpe. But they definitely had a good sound, which I unfortunately cannot describe for you because I was too interested in whether or not the singer was making eyes at me. Mike kept yelling into my ear, "Boy's making eyes at you. Either you, or me!" I thought the guy might have been looking at me, but all singers scan their audience and rest their eyes on certain people for a few seconds. Or so I assume. But Mike was right. I kept a good eye on this -as I know now- Ian Schwarber and found myself locked in a staring contest with him that lasted so long it became ridiculous and I had to look away. But even I knew at that point this guy was fixating on me, and I'm pretty dull when it comes to people flirting with me.

Best part of the evening: Ian Schwarber's pitch. After Blue Flashing Light finished their set, Mike and I were just hanging around. He kept his distance, though; Mike always stood about four or five feet behind me the entire night. Not long after Liquor Boxx came on, I felt someone's very soft touch on my bare shoulder. Assuming it was Mike, although I don't know why because I doubt he has a soft touch, I whirled around and found myself inches from from Ian Schwarber. He didn't stop to talk, but he was walking past as he headed back stage. He gave me a huge smile from that spot and even turned his head to continue smiling as he walked in his intended direction. But that's not the best part. The best part is what Mike told me after we left the show: Ian Schwarber was walking past me, realized he was walking past me, backtracked a few steps, and even though there was a good four feet between myself and the nearest person he actually pretended to have to brush me out of the way. It was a ploy to touch me. Now I know why Mike and a couple other guys around him were laughing so hard when it happened. And you gotta admit ... it is pretty funny. But in Ian's defense I'll say the following: he's cute. That's all. He's got no other alibi. I mean, seriously, he somewhat copped a feel and I didn't even get a drink out of it. Who does he think he is? Ryan fucking Adams? You sir, have an attractive face and you're tall and you wear glasses, which is uber sexy, but you cannot begin to reach even the apparent magnitude of the sexiness exploding from the big blue eyes of that hot little piece of white trash. If you tried that "brush past me" shit with Ryan Adams, his touch would burn you. If you'd only offered to buy me a drink we wouldn't be having this conversation. sigh

I'll give you a break, though, Ian Schwarber. That little flirtation made me feel good, and I've been kind of bummed lately for various reasons. So, thank you.

Not much to tell aside from those two bands. The Julia Dream? Was that their name? The singer looked like a crazy gothed-out Adam Duritz. I kept seeing him in the crowd the whole night just playing with his hair. Couldn't leave his hair alone. Of all the bands we saw last night, this one appeared to try the hardest. To me, it was just a bunch of boys wearing make up, trying to be Robert Smith. Seriously, nobody puts that much effort into how they look unless they're trying desperately. The whole band reminded me of my most recent ex: they don't know what they want to be, so they just keep trying on different hats hoping the latest will be the right fit. But what do I know? I'm just a keen social observer.

One more band we saw had a singer who sort of resembled Iggy Pop, and Iggy Pop is just plain ick. I don't care what he did for punk; he looks like he's been dead for 10 years already. I didn't catch the name of this band, but they were decent. Better than goth Counting Crows, but not as good as Blue Flashing Light and definitely not as good as Liquor Boxx.

I laughed. I danced. I cried. (Well, not really.) And I had such a great time. Like sweaty, painful, grinding good time. The best kind of time.

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Anna says:

Whoah, talk about an interesting night, on all levels!

I would have fallen in front of everybody. Or at least tripped.

I had the same eye contact experience with Kaiser Chiefs' singer. It was a very enjoyable experience ;)

Will check out Liquor Boxx asap.

Thanks for sharing the night with us :)

Posted 2 months ago | Delete

carmensandiego says:

Oh, Anna, it gets better. I left a comment on the band's MySpace page mentioning how the singer needs to work on his rock star schtick, and I just got a message back from him from his personal MySpace page saying, "Nice blog. I agree with 85% of that." (He read this same blog on my MySpace page, apparently.) I totally did not see that one coming. I can't believe that guy contacted me. This is so funny. I'm corresponding with a "rock star." Although I would rather it be Ryan Adams. Must work on that.

I bet your Kaiser Chiefs experience was nice and sexy. You go, Anna! Work it!

Posted 2 months ago | Delete

renees says:

 

u obviously dont know good local music when u hear it. the two bands that u are refering to kick ass. their some really good friends of mine and they are a bunch of sweet guys. and they are amazing.

and they are the julia dream and rockets to ruin. their awesome.

Posted 2 months ago | Delete