MOG

Welcome to "Criminal Records", where the Girlfriend and I yap about songs featuring criminal activity.

First up is Bruce Springsteen's Atlantic City - a haunting, atmospheric piece of music about legging it from gangsters.

[After listening to Atlantic City]

Colin: What did you think of that song?

The Girlfriend: Bleak. But it had a lot of hope. He was saying nothing is going right, we have all this shit going on, but I love you, I'm thinking about you, so do yourself up, love, and we'll get out of here.

C: But put your stockings on first.

The GF: Yeah, he's worried that she'll catch her death of cold. And that's probably the least of his worries.

C: He strikes me as a worrier in general.

The GF: An awful worrier, yeah.

C: Like, he was worried about the chicken man. The racket boys blew him and his house up. Bruce doesn't say it overtly, but he implies that the chickens died, too. Let's not beat around the bush here, this is the mob, isn't it?

The GF: Yeah, I don't think the racket boys are tennis players.

C: [Laughs] Apparently the chicken man was a real life mafia chief. So, the narrator knows about some dodgy stuff, doesn't he? I don't think he works a 9-5 office job.

The GF: No. He said he was doing a favor for some guy. If I was his girlfriend, I'd be like, "Eh, could you be more specific, there?"

C: Yeah, I don't think he's going to help him assemble a garden shed. Something else that struck me: When the lovers pack up and leave for Atlantic City, they don't drive off in a cool car. They take the bus.

The GF: Yeah, 'cos they're poor.

C: But, to play devil's advocate here…in America, don't only losers take the bus? The dregs of humanity? The worst of the worst?

The GF [angrily]: Who said that?

C: I've heard talk of it. Don't shoot the messenger.

The GF: It's not right! The poor just can't afford to take fecking cabs everywhere like you! The worst of the worst! Bullshit. That's like when you told me, "Americans call poor oul' homeless people 'bums'".

C: They do!

The GF: How are they the worst of the worst, though?! That's the rich! What have people who take the bus done?! Are they criminals?! No!

C: Well, the fella in this song is! That's why we're talking about it!

The GF: That's different! He's writing a song about it!

C: That's all right, then!

The GF: The only thing about the bus, for me, is he's getting chased out of town by the racket boys. Is the bus the best way to go? I'm sure they'd catch him quickly enough. Seriously, he's taking the No 47 bus from Jersey or somewhere. The racket boys will be like, "We'll just drive down to Atlantic City in our big mob SUV and wait for him at the bus station."

C: [laughs] Or: They might get the next bus.

The GF: Which comes 20 minutes after the first one.

C: So he's only 20 minutes ahead. What if the bus is delayed? He'd be screaming at the bus driver, "Get started! Move! Go!"

The GF: And he'd sit up the front.

C: Why?

The GF: So he could get off quicker.

C: [laughs] Dear oh dear. Maybe Bruce had written all that for the final verse, about shouting at the driver and switching seats, but then just thought… 'Nah. Silly.' He's a good writer, Bruce.

The GF: Yeah. But you know what comes to mind whenever I hear Bruce Springsteen? That he had a concert a few years ago where he didn't want anybody clapping between songs.

C: That's true. The whole tour of The Ghost of Tom Joad.

The GF: Well, I don't know if the songs were as good as Atlantic City, but I'd say people wanted to clap. And he'd be up there telling them, "No! Stop! You're not allowed to clap!" That's brutal.

C: I'll tell you, he has a version of Atlantic City on the Live in Dublin album. And it's fucking terrible. A terrible version. If he had said, 'You can't clap', I'd be like, 'I don't want to clap. I want to boo. Can you boo, Bruce? Booooo! Hissss!"

The GF: "Can we throw things?! Get off!"

C: Okay. Finally, what else can you say about that song?

The GF: I love the line, "I've got debts no honest man can pay."

C: Because you have debts no honest woman can pay?

The GF: [Laughs] Yeah. Big time.

C: I'd say it's a nice, heartwarming song about mob violence. Honestly, though, I love the romance of a blue collar couple running from trouble. Brings a tear to my eye, that one.

The GF: Tears of laughter.

C: After today, probably. You've fecking ruined it for me.

...

List of crimes in Atlantic City:

1. Blowing up the chicken man, his house, and quite possibly his chickens, too 2. Illegal gambling 3. Fights on the boardwalk 4. Rumbles on the promenade 5. A unspecified (but most likely not DIY-related) favor for a friend 6. Taking the bus

...

If anyone has a suggestion for a song that involves crime, let me know. Thanks.